Ogden Nash

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Happiness, Achieve, Way

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Life, Living, My Life

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Life, Man, Floor

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Fun, You, Debts

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Love, Marriage, Admit

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Mind, Remorse, Violent

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Work, Money, Want

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Dog, Door, Wrong

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Candy, Quicker, Dandy

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Marriage, People, Two

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Happiness, Scratch, Itch

No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Fun, Done, You

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Woman, Man, Sex

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote End, Milk, Cow

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Funny, Progress, Long

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Children, Happy, Parenting

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Hope, Home, Age

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Family, Women, Children

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Man, Remorse, Another

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Hope, Mothers, Tongue

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Children, Parents, Think

I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Great, Claim, Saint

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Happiness, Control, Beyond

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote News, Wrong, Never

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Pet, Trouble, Cat

Too clever is dumb.Ogden Nash

0 likes view quote Clever, Dumb, Too
26 Ogden Nash quotes

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