Larry David

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.Larry David

0 likes view quote Man, Hair, Head

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.Larry David

0 likes view quote Good, Walk, Homeless

I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.Larry David

0 likes view quote Sometimes, Actions, Some

I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure.Larry David

0 likes view quote Heart, People, Die

I don't like to make a big splash anyway.Larry David

0 likes view quote Big, Like, Make

Golf and dating don't mix.Larry David

0 likes view quote Golf, Dating, Mix

Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally.Larry David

0 likes view quote Freedom, I Am, People

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.Larry David

0 likes view quote Fight, People, Chocolate

Women love a self-confident bald man.Larry David

0 likes view quote Love, Women, Man

I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.Larry David

0 likes view quote Funny, Good, Think

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'Larry David

0 likes view quote Funny, Birthday, Thinking

OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy.Larry David

0 likes view quote Happy, Right, OK

I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.Larry David

0 likes view quote People, Like, Tolerate

No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all.Larry David

0 likes view quote I Am, People, Me

I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed.Larry David

0 likes view quote Walking, Dying, Talking

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.Larry David

0 likes view quote Future, Good, Planning

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.Larry David

0 likes view quote Time, Walking, Door

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.Larry David

0 likes view quote Work, Freedom, You

I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.Larry David

0 likes view quote Small, Small Things, Big

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.Larry David

0 likes view quote Woman, Man, Trying

I'm a walking, talking enigma.Larry David

0 likes view quote Walking, Talking, Enigma

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.Larry David

0 likes view quote Night, Fish, First

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.Larry David

0 likes view quote Childhood, Tough, Wonderful

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.Larry David

0 likes view quote Myself, May, Nothing

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.Larry David

0 likes view quote Birds, Deaf, Bad

I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.Larry David

0 likes view quote Comfort Zone, Comfort, Like

The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.Larry David

0 likes view quote Find, Salad, Nuts

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.Larry David

0 likes view quote Women, Crazy, Back

Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I'm - basically inside, I'm a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over.Larry David

0 likes view quote Think, Bad, Worst

My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.Larry David

0 likes view quote Sloth, Background, Mostly
103 Larry David quotes

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